You Complicate My Life

Much is written in "self-help" blogs, articles, Facebook posts, and tweets about getting the negativity...especially negative people...out of our lives. This concept seems a little cold to me. Selfish, even. After all, aren't we supposed to be a positive influence on others? Won't they then snap out of their negativity and thank us forever?

At any rate, I've been preparing a little speech for "cutting people loose," just in case I ever get to the point that air is being sucked out of the room faster than sunshine can warm the atmosphere. Or whatever. Here it is, in rough cut form:

"[insert name of person], I'm trying to simplify my life. You complicate it, so we're not a good fit. I'm releasing you so you can feel free to pursue other friendship options."

What do you think? No, no. Of course I don't mean YOU. Silly. Because so far, everyone -- absolutely everyone -- I've tried it out on, even though I was clearly reading it from a piece of paper, and even after making it clear I was only rehearsing, has been under the misconception that I was directing my comments "for real." Just making sure there's no misunderstanding between us. You're awesome.