Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Get That Log Out of Your Eye, Lady

People often have...issues...establishing appropriate boundaries within which to live their lives, and I spend quite a bit of time and energy helping others to set healthy ones for themselves. It's interesting that folks come to me for help in this area, since I have the very same problem.

I've never met a request for my time that I could refuse, unless it came from my husband. He'll understand, right? Someone is right in front of me with tear-filled eyes, or an urgent project, or a problem to get advice about, or a terribly important meeting to rope me into, or whatever. How can I say no? And so, I cave, even if I'm already on my way out the door. With my coat on. And my keys in my hand.

Wimp. There I am, with my boundaries caved in all around me, trying to figure out what just happened and how I got myself cornered and lassoed again. There is simply no joy whatsoever in feeling trapped, you know that?

So, what is the lesson in the situation I find myself in this time? I guess I could start by listening to my own advice. Before I say "Sure, I can do that," I need to ask myself a few questions. Questions like:  Is this request reasonable? Do I really have time to do this, or will it just add unnecessary stress to my life? And, of course, the coup de grace...Do I want to do this thing, or do I just feel backed into a corner and unable to extricate myself?

Grow a backbone, lady. You feel ambushed, and you know it. Now, what are you gonna do about it?

No comments:

Post a Comment